Black Man's White Sissy

I started jerking off to ejaculation when I was around 18. Once I started doing it, it was all I thought about, 27/7 it seemed like. I collected fuck mags and porno tapes wherever I could find them, to use as visual aids. Just looking at those sexy nude women being loved up by their hot men made my dick so fuckin' HARD! Because of that I was able to convince myself that I was normal, of course, in retrospect it is obvious that I was identifying with the women.

One day when my mom was at work, I was laying in her bed, masturbating. I got up and rummaged through her underwear drawer. The drawer smelled like perfume and the odor made my dick stiffen. Some of her panties had stains - I think they were cum stains - on the crotch. Anyway, I don't know why, but something prompted me to try on a pair of her silky nylon hose. The material felt so good on my legs! Next I stepped into a pair of her red french cut panties. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror - and was electrified.

I was about 5', 2" then, and the only body hair I had was on my 18 year old pubes. I just couldn't believe how much like a girl I looked! I quickly applied som of my mom's hot red lipstick and checked myself out; I almost came in Mom's panties right there.I looked every bit as sexy as those bitches in the fuck mags. I jerked off until my 18 year old dick was sore.

I never knew my real dad; Mom never talked about him, and once, when she was drunk, she told me she wasn't even sure who he was.Mom always had boyfriends as far back as I can remember. Three or four of them lived with us at different times, but they never stayed for long. Then She met Butch, and he moved in soon after.

Butch was Mom's first black man. He had recently been released from state prison, but Mom was crazy about him. I used to listen to them fucking every night. She was always hanging on him, treating him like he was a king, massaging him, kissing on him. He didn't like me much. He treated me nice when Mom was around, but when we were alone he mostly ignored me. I think it was because I wasn't the most masculine 18 year old kid. In fact, looking back on it, I was a downright sissy. I loathed athletic sports, and was frail and a weakling. Once he told me that his 7 year old son could kick my ass! And me, an 18 year old!